Sunday, June 26, 2005

Imitations.

My best friend wears a Rolex watch.
But it’s not real. It’s one of these knock-offs, an imitation.
Seriously though, you would have to be some sort of Rolex expert [Rolexpert?] to detect the difference. You know how a Rolex does that sort of double-clicking of the seconds hand? Well, his fake jobby does this too.
Me, I am sporting a Tag Heuer. And it’s just as fake as my friend’s Rolex.
We bought these imitation timepieces from the same big-city street vendor. This old guy has an open suitcase of watches and rings, set out on a little table. And he is no fly-by-night retailer. He is as permanent a fixture as any of the surrounding high-rise buildings. Set and immovable, like an old grandfather clock, on this one section of Yonge Street. He’s got a lot of nice stuff.
I bought my “Tag Heuer” [nudge, nudge, say-no-more] from him a couple of years ago.
For twenty-five bucks.
That very same day I went directly from his Suitcase-Stand into a top-notch jewellery store that sells Tag Heuer. I handed my watch to the man behind the counter and asked for his opinion. He sought the counsel of several colleagues who were soon gathered like a flock of crows around my imitation. Soon, with their glasses half-way down their beaks and still peering with professional precision, they were all muttering combined conclusions of “I cannot tell the difference between this and the real thing.”
I should add, that several good examples of the real thing were right there to be seen, too. Behind locked glass cases and without price tags attached, because they were of that special echelon of items which have a PRICE... but no price-TAG! Because if you need to see the price-tag [say it with me now]..... you probably can’t afford it.

So this past spring, just a few months ago, my friend and I found ourselves back at the Suitcase-Stand. Back on Yonge Street.
And there was Father Time himself, standing there like an immovable sequoia.
So I told him of how impressed I am with the Tag-Heuer. It was right there on my wrist, ticking away like a charm. I told him how the flock of crows could not find one critical thing to say about it. By now he was beaming with pride in his fake products.
And he reached behind the suitcase, from whence he retrieved his piece de resistance!
The Rolex.
My friend, who recently suffered the loss of his [real] Gucci watch that he had worn for half his lifetime, leaned in for a closer look.
I could see the glint in his eye. And yes, this wrist-watch was gorgeous.
There was only one thing left to do.
Bargain.
Try to haggle the guy down in his price. My friend made an offer which Father Time said was not acceptable. So we walked away.
And came back a while later with some cold hard cash! Sort of waved it in Father Time’s face there a bit until he got a bit dizzy.
Long story short? All things are negotiable!
My best friend wears a Rolex watch.
And who’s the wiser?

When it comes down to it, knock-offs, imitations, are at times a wonderful thing.
But I’m sure there are instances where the rule is less applicable than in the realm of wrist-watches.
For instance, you’ll want to be sure that what you think is Hugo-Boss, is not really Hugo-Bass. It could seriously ruin an otherwise perfectly good evening if you have inadvertantly hosed yourself down with something that was meant to be sprayed on a fishing lure!
Or, when you drive that new car off the lot.... you may want to make double-sure that the final letter in the Mercedes-Benz you just bought is a “z”.
Not a “t”.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

so what happened to the hole "book thing " anyway...

Anonymous said...

Reading these bits is like reading a good book...hence it is a "book thing".
Open your mind, relax, enjoy.