Wednesday, October 26, 2005

Ode To Starbucks.

I am just sitting here at Starbucks (big surprise) and thinking about how much I love it here.... and why!
When it comes to “marketing”, Starbucks has me pegged.
I am addicted to all things Starbuckian, apparently even Starbuckian atmosphere.
The walls of my apartment are lined with Starbucks artwork that I picked up years and years ago (they no longer even allow their used posters to leave the store with spazzes like me). I used to have a sort of running list of store locations, where I would pester the managers to save me their old posters. They were very cooperative (probably, they were scared of me).
I would take the posters, (and back then they had real nice artwork on each one), and I would get them laminated at one of these Frame places. Crazy huh? One day I want to do a photo retrospective of the Starbucks artwork in my place, and I’ll post it here. [Currently, my digital camera is on the blink.]

But seriously, ever since I had my second cup of Starbucks coffee, I have not been able to tolerate any other sort of java!
My first time was in the Calgary airport.
I was going through the terminal, to connect with another flight, and I saw the first green Starbucks sign I ever had seen in my life. An epiphany.

Little did I know, of the lifelong relationship that was beginning, budding, like a spring flower, in this hectic moment.

I ordered a “mild” coffee of the day. Looked awful dark to me, that coffee.
Oh well, I mixed it up (honey and cream) and took off to find my Gate.
Sweet Lordy!
When I took a sip of that preCambrian tar, I turned right around and went back there.
I said to the barista girl, “Ummm. Yeah! I ordered the mild coffee. This must be the stronger one.”
“No, sir” she assured me. “That is our mild one, but if you like, I can pour you another.”
“Yes, please,” I said... and this time I watched her.... yeah, uh-huh, she went to the mild spigot there..... well, I’ll be darned.
The resultant fluid still looked like something you drain out of the crankcase of a Dodge Ram.
Oh well. I mixed it up again. And I got on the plane with the thing.
Well, see... after surviving that first cup of Starbucks effluent.... I was thoroughly hooked.
Intrigued.
I had to stop in at every green sign, and see if that airport experience was unique.
And every Starbucks I went in to had this same strong, robust, flavorful coffee. NEVER WEAK! I cannot tolerate weak coffee.
So really, it was a match made in heaven.
And since that time, well, I have graduated to the harder stuff.
Mild Shmild!
I want the toughest stuff you’ve got. The darkest. Deepest.
Then this was not good enough.... I want the americanos. Espresso and water.
As Jerry Seinfeld says, of headache pills... “Find out what will KILL me, and then just back it off a little.”
That’s what I tell the barista girls now!

Say what you will, Starbucks is a very savvy company. They know where to put their stores. They know who they are trying to reach. But I fully believe that their real success can be attributed to the absolute perfection of their product.
I agree 100% with father-and-daughter author team, Al and Laura Ries, when they say in their book The Origin of Brands:
Starbucks might be perceived as a hip place for the corporate crowd, but the core concept of the brand is high-end coffee. Take away its high-end coffee leadership and Starbucks becomes just another me-too brand.

Think about it.
When have you ever seen a Starbucks ad on television?
I haven’t.
Yet.... who does not know about Starbucks?

The PRODUCT sells itself!
Yes, and the fact that there are two or three Starbucks on every urban corner, I know! But really, I have never purchased anything from Starbucks that was NOT GOOD!
Even their cakes, and muffins and cookies and (NOW) sandwiches.
They simply..... ROCK!
They do not need to hyper-advertise. They have already somehow saturated the caffeinated psyche of North America! Starbucks spent less than ten million dollars on advertising in its first ten years. That’s chicken feed in today’s world of multi-million dollar one shot commercials!
Yet Starbucks is the most recognized coffee brand in the world. Remember the glimpse of a Starbucks cup in the movie Shrek 2?
Everything about Starbucks is.... excellent.
Even the fact that they have wireless internet now. I am posting this blog FROM a Starbucks!
Even the fact that they have those little Starbucks credit-card jobbies, which I load up with advance dollars, so that Starbucks can earn interest on my as-yet-unused money.
It's fantastic!
Oh, gladly I surrender a rather horrendous proportion of money to this outfit, yes, gladly I do. With what I have rung (and wrung) through on my card I have surely bought some distant mogul a yacht or two, but do I care? NO!
It’s been a fair exchange!

And (here is the thing) they will let you sit here until your shoulder is attached to the wall via cobwebs!
See, recently, someone who knows that I live half my life in Chapters (the big bookstore chain) sort of admonished me, suggesting that I should quit my obsession, and (instead) frequent the independent bookstores. To which I would say..... “Gladly I will do so. As soon as those independents install a Starbucks in them.”
I know I know.... it is a HORRID thing to say. But it is true.
The independent bookstores are great, and they are quaint, and yes, more knowledgable in their stock than are the youngsters running around in the Chapters stores, yes.... but... BUT... will the independent bookstore let me sit in their store until I need a shave?
I think NOT!

As much as I love books (and admittedly, I do have problems here), the truth is that I would not sit in a Chapters for as long as I do, were it not for the sweet elixir that flows from yonder grommets and spigots!
Under the green sign.... oh the wonders that take place under yon Green Sign!
When I leave here everyday, a doctor would be hard pressed to find any blood in my coffee-stream!
I am STARBUCKS powered baby!
Empowered by the bean!
Vive le Starbucks!

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