Toasted Seafood?

In light of yesterday’s blog, I thought perhaps I would share the following harrowing adventure. It happened last winter.
I had been here at Starbucks for quite a while (the same one I am in right now, actually) when I felt that it was time for some food. I only walked about a block from here when this guy sort of came around the corner and asked me where the Salvation Army place was. So I tried to describe it to him, and I was pointing way up ahead at this sign, and telling him to go left from there and all.... and then I said “Well, I’m going that way too, so come along...”
He said his name was Manny, and that he was from British Columbia. I told him that I too, had lived in BC. A few steps later he said “I don’t normally do this but could you spare me something man, I am starving.”
And right then and there I instantly realized that there is no way I could live with myself if I said “No” and then went directly into the next Grease-Emporium I pass, you know?
But at the same time, I don’t want to give guys money to go buy crack.
So, I said to him... “Well Manny. I don't usually do this either, but what do you like to eat?”
“Anything. Whatever,” he says.
We were just passing a Subway place, so I said “How about this?”
“Sure,” says Manny.

So we go in, and I say to him, “Order whatever you want.”
And he says to the guy behind the counter in a serious dramatic fashion... “I want you to make me a CRAAAAAZY sub.”
And the guy is like..... “O.......K.....?” [looking at me, and I nod].
So this guy Manny is ordering something and I wasn’t really listening because this girl was taking my own order.
Then I overhear the guy saying to Manny... “That’s going to cost you man!”
So now I am all ears. Because whatever it is going to cost “him” is going to cost “me”.
What the hell is this guy ordering?
Well.... turns out first he says he wants bacon. Then chicken. Then seafood. And more bacon. The guy behind the counter is confused and looking at me.... and so I say to Manny.... “No, no man. See all those kinds of pre-fab Subs listed up there? Just pick one.”
So Manny decides (honest to God, I am NOT kidding)... he wants a seafood sub, but WITH BACON. So the guy puts the bacon on this stuff, and then Manny says... “NO NO... MORE bacon!”
So, this guy is creating this Sandwich That Time Forgot, and I am sort of smiling, but also worried that Manny is inventing the world’s most expensive sub (and he was).... anyways... put it this way... MY sub was 5 bucks. Manny’s sub was $11.00.
And he got it toasted.
Toasted seafood?
Never in the history of my eating Subway sandwiches have I ever heard of an eleven dollar sandwich!
And then he only ate HALF of it! Stuffed the rest of it into his backpack.
So we sat there and talked while we ate, me and this Manny character. Out of his backpack he pulled a DVD of the movie I Robot, and tried to sell it to me. And then, he pulled out the six videotape series of the X-Files, in two boxed sets of 3 each.... "a steal at 20 bucks" he says to me. I say I don’t want them.
He then showed me pictures of his wife and three kids. Said to me... “You must be the best person ever." [I was shaking my head and saying “No, totally not. Don’t say that. It is not true.”] and he was going on... “Yeah, but most people they won’t even talk to me... a minority. So this is really neat.”
And I said “Hey, we’re all the same, Manny.”
And then he is hollering “Amen! Amen!” and the Subway guy is looking over at us. Manny says “You are black too, just a lighter shade of it.”
I am nodding in agreement that yes, I am black too.
So I finished my Sub and we went out onto the street again. A block farther up, I pointed out the Salvation Army place, and we parted.
As he walked across the street, he turned and shouted, “Bless you. One day I’ll be on my feet and I’ll see you and I will return the favor.”
“Yep” I said, and waved.

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