Friday, March 03, 2006

Workbookaphobia

I really do not like workbooks.
You know what I mean?
No?
OK, well, I think that the condition is a direct result of my incredibly impractical nature.
I am a theorist. I thrive on idea.
I like idea, and ideas.
Give me the idea, and leave me alone!
When it comes to non-fictional books [and I read a lot of these] I like for the page to be filled with text…. the odd picture here and there is fine, as are graphs and explanatory tables and whatnot else.
But as soon as I see any area where I am supposed to answer questions and sort of respond to the book by actually writing in it [and isn’t this pretty much what a workbook is?]…. I hate it.
I am serious. I will flip through a book in a store, one that may have caught my interest with its cover and title and topic. But when I open it up and see blank spaces, meant for me or whoever else to fill in with our own stupid answers?
I am turned off.
Perhaps it has to do with my general abhorrence of marginalia of all kinds.

This workbookaphobia extends even to those situations where I find myself almost forced to have to write in a book.
Let’s say my wife and I are attending a seminar. [Even though I am not married at all, let’s just say this. Work with me here…]
OK…. so Michelle and I [and yes, her maiden name was Pfeiffer]… we are sitting there at a Dr. Phil seminar entitled “Having Even Way More Sex Than You Even Wanted To Have! ©” and of course, balanced on our knees are the requisite workbooks to fill out while we listen.
I can’t do it.
I never could.
The truth is, I have no problem writing all sort of crazy stuff in those blanks. I have no problem with answering the things deliberately wrongly and then tilting the book toward Michelle so that she can read it and see how dang witty [and adorable] I am.
I have no problem drawing pictures all over the place and doodling on every square inch of the thing. I have no qualms about literally ruining the workbook…. but I simply cannot take the workbook seriously.
I just can’t.

I wonder if there is such a thing as a Workbookaphobia For Dummies© book.
I wonder if it is bursting with blanks to fill out on every page.
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