Bad Hair Day!

Hey, have you ever gotten a haircut that just….. I don’t know, did not work out?
All I know is…. as much as GQ magazine was not at all interested in me BEFORE tonight, they certainly are not interested NOW!
After work, I went to Starbucks and drank a pile of coffee and then I said to myself… “Maybe I should go and get a haircut.”
Well, to make a long story shorter…. the photo there to the left is the new “me”.
NOT A GOOD DECISION!
See, I knew that my usual hair-care professional [Carla] goes home early. But see, I have to go out tomorrow night and I didn’t want to go out with these poofy wings that have seemed to sprout from the side of my head in the past little while.
So, I just stopped in at the nearest Mall and went into the nearest barber shop I could find and threw my fate into the hands of……. fate!
[Don’t ever do this!]
This woman sat me down in her chair and commenced snipping. No small talk.
Early on, it just wasn’t looking right. I said to her after a while…. “Umm, yeah and whatever... I don’t seriously part my hair like that.”
“Like what?” she said.
“Well, like the way you have it parted there!” pointing at myself in the mirror and flashing her my most convincing “Do you think you are Moses or something?” look!
She was not convinced.
And kept going.
She said, “I’m going to give you what’s called the Messy Look©. It’s really…. popular.”
She pointed to a picture of some fashion model guy on the wall, who, if I were to look like him in any way imaginable, I would first have to somehow de-age at least two or maybe even three decades….
Then she started cutting furiously, like she’s getting paid by the pound or something… or maybe she’s some fanatical missionary, using all hair clippings to make wigs for underprivileged hairless people overseas…..
All I know is I was already too committed…. I was already making a HUGE donation to the wig-effort, and whatever the hell she had on her MIND, was soon going to be on my HEAD!
OK, I could go on, but really…. for the past hour or so I’ve been looking in the mirror while holding a mirror, looking at every possible angle of my cranium, and no matter what kind of optimism I employ, I keep saying to myself…. “Nope! That is just not going to heal itself by morning!”
And dammit! I already looked not very good to start with!
This is really the problem.
So this is not good. I'm not kidding. It has NOT been a good day, hairwise.
I am not saying this hairdresser woman was like, the actual Devil or anything [necessarily]…. but all I am saying… all I am saying people, is…. umm… when it comes to things like the removal of your spleen, or major surgery of any kind, or HAIRCUTS….. it may be a good idea to stick with the familiar.

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