Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Ahhhhh! Apartment Life!

Wanna hear something hilarious, yet not?
So I just got home from a day of horrendous overtime, as usual. I seem to be intent upon working more hours than the average sled-dog team! Anyhoo, tonight... I pick up my mail at the main floor and crack a few of the items open as the elevator takes me up to 14 [which is really 13]!

The first thing I opened was from the "Management Office" of the building.

Keep in mind that I have lived here now, same place, for almost ten years, with not ONE COMPLAINT ever being levelled at me, aside from that note under the door saying that my noisy bathroom pipes needed some attention.
So I am opening this envelope tonight thinking that I am going to receive the "Bestest Tenant© " award, or maybe the "Nobel Prize for Exceedingly Awesome Tenancy© " or whatever. Thought that maybe they would be offering a retroactive rebate on the $16 million I have paid out to the invisible landlord over the years.
Not so.
None of these things had anything to do with the letter I read.
Somewhere around the 8th or 9th floor I am reading the following balderdash...

Contrary to your lease agreement, Article 24 (h), our office has received complaints about disturbances, noises that appear to have originated in your apartment. We would like to ensure that such disturbances do not continue, as they create an imposition on other tenants. A complaint was made concerning excessive stereo volume and bass levels. Please contact the rental office if you want to discuss the situation or if the issue does not originate from your apartment please let me know and we will need to further investigate the source of the problem. Please remember apartment living requires a certain amount of consideration for other tenants.

Well, excuuuuuuuuuuuuse me!
The funny thing is that I do not even have a stereo system in here. I only listen to iTunes© from my laptop.... granted the whole shemozzle is piped into my Yamaha© speakers, consisting of subwoofer and two little speakers.
Could this be causing such a kafuffle?
Such hemorrhaging in the communal hallway? Bleeding through the walls?

Good Lord© !
Do I write out an official complaint about Mr. Hai Karate© down the hall? [see yesterday's blog].
Has my cat, Jack, been having some kind of wild raves while I am at work?
Is he on crack? [I have wondered this for a while now, honestly.]
Granted, occasionally I may get a bit carried away here, playing Pink Floyd at a bit of a comfortably numb level or whatnot.... and there was that one time when I had Joe Satriani cranked until I myself got a sort of minor brain aneurism... but overall, I think that this complaint is unreasonable© .
I am a good boy.
But [at the same time] I don't want to get turfed out of here. I think maybe they are making this stuff up, trying to ruffle my feathers because they cannot get the going rate out of me, because I've been here so long.
What I mean is, if a new tenant moved in here, they would get an extra $400 out of him and/or her.

Could this be their motive?
Would they do such a thing? Make up lies, lies, LIES, I say.... about l'il ol' me?

Gotta go.
Gonna interrogate the cat now.
And he looks damn guilty of something.... I'm just not sure of what, yet.



Anonymous said...

You can come live with your Homey and his family. Jack can rave with Gapi and Bunker and drive our neighbours crazy. I don't mind really, from what you say, you're never home anyways. The amount you hand over for rent seems like throwing good money out the window for just a place to shower and to comune with cat ghosts.
We'll make room in our dingy basement. You can pay the BK once a monthat and we're even!

cipriano said...

Hey, it is so nice to hear from you Ms. Champignon.
Give my rewards to Lawrence!

"William! Come here lad!"
"William! Come here lad!"

May said...

I wrote a long comment to this post yesterday which never got through. This time I had problems with the word verification (NOT that I am stupid!). Then I tried again and either had the same problem or could not even access the blog. A total failure.
Today it seems to be working fine.

cipriano said...

Ahhhh May. That is too bad. I encourage you to try and rewrite. For some reason I guess this newer beta-version of blogger seems to be a problem sometimes, but I hope it resolves itself.
All the best to you, May.

Free thinker said...

May: I think you have computer issues as I have never heard anyone else having trouble posting.

Cip: Your cat probably has a guilty look because he pucked on your pillow.

As for the subwoofer take it off the floor!