Sunday, March 25, 2007

My New Hands

Well, yesterday I did something that is so uncharacteristic of me that I still can’t even believe it happened.
← I bought cosmetics.
Must explain.
Must explain.

I spent the whole day at the St. Laurent Mall.
My main quest was to find a real nice pair of jeans after my favorite pair suffered a bit of a malfunction [a rip] in a… umm… too obvious spot.
Why is it so difficult to find a good, and I mean PERFECT pair of jeans?
It seems when I find the exact style I want [low-rise, narrow leg stuff] and the right shade of fade and all… they do not have my blasted size? But then, all of the jeans I would only buy if I were blind, they are ALL in my size!
So, in this dejected state, I drifted into a Bowring store because all the scented candles drew me hitherward. In there I bought a four-set of Hi-Ball glasses.
As I exited the store [I’m getting to the point, I’m getting to the point] I ran DIRECTLY into one of these gals that are out there in the centre of the thoroughfare trying to hawk some sort of make-up or miracle cream.

She had this granular stuff that looked like road-slush in a little plastic spoon and she was waving it at me and saying something.

To humor her, I stopped walking and she moved in for the kill.
“Hello, sir. Would you like to try some of this junk?” she said [or something to that effect].
My first thought, and it was a loud one, was… “Oh my God, woman! Are you ever barking up the wrong tree on this one!”
“No, sorr
y I…..” I began to say.
But she had me at “Hello”… apparently. She had my number!

She very quickly blurted out something about “dry skin”.
And this struck a chord with me. I will tell you why.

Even on the drive to the Mall earlier, I was looking at my hands and shaking my head at myself, because my hands are SO DRIED OUT!
They are positively Saharan! Chafed and dry!
And they've been this way for a long time, because I work a minumum of eight hours a day in direct and constant contact with paper and cardboard. It literally tears my hands to shreds.
As she blabbed about whatever, I set my shopping bag down and looked at my gross hands, and then at her road-slush stuff.
Little did this chick know that she had just nabbed onto the Driest-Handed Guy in the Mall©.

So I began to rub my hands together with this goop in them. Just as though I was washing my hands. The granular aspect of the stuff felt great. Relaxing.

Even as I was doing this though I was still saying to myself, “This is so not going to work…. like how in the world will this make my hands nice and soft? Nope, this is not going to…” but she was already spritzing my hands with a spray bottle of water, rinsing them off into this basin thing and as she did so…. my eyes became saucers!

With every spritz, it felt like I was growing new hands!
Literally incredible, as in, hard to believe.
I was speechless [and for me that’s a big deal, means the wheels are turning…] and then she put this other stuff on my hands to seal the deal!

“This is a moisturizer to apply after your exfoliation. It comes with the purchase of the aromatic salt scrub!”
I knew then that she had sold me on the stuff.
I had new hands!

Now it was time to talk business.
How much were my sweet-smelling aromatic handsies going to set me back now? [$]
$he told me.
Hmm… they are not exactly giving it away… but I bought it.
So….. you yourself may be wondering by now [if you are still reading]… “WHAT IS THIS STUFF?”
Well, there is the picture of it at the top of this blog.
That’s the road-slush.
Then the other stuff is the moisturizer… shown [above] in a nicer bottle than the smaller “FREE” one I was given.
Now here is the kicker.
Wanna know what the main ingredient is?
Salt from the Dead Sea!
Dead Sea salt crystals absorbed into a mixture of carefully selected aromatic oils!
That’s the scrub portion of the process.
Then the moisturizer consists of Dead Sea minerals & plants extracts. Also liposome complex → ginseng extract, aloe extract and vitamin E.

It’s made in Israel by a company called Dead Sea Premier.
See the Canadian version of their website HERE!
[Note: The preceding was tapped out by some seriously supple, fragrant new hands!]



Beth said...

Hmmm... I going to check out the web site but I'm skeptical. I fall for every gimmick/product for dry hands and still have dry hands.

cipriano said...

Good point Beth. The skepticism.
Already, a friend has mentioned to me that plain old WalMart-style apricot scrub might have done the same trick, and she is probably right!
Now I am wondering... what about some Home Depot-style 150-grit sandpaper? Followed by Jergens!

jenclair said...

I've bought several versions. The first was way expensive, then people started making and selling it on their own using sea (regular)salt and various oils. Only about $4-5 a nice size jar at craft fairs around here. WONDERFUL stuff! Great for this old gardener. I may make my own this year.

cipriano said...

Another satisfied customer, checking in.
Great to see you here, jenclair.
I just exfoliated myself this very evening, it was just superb!
Yes, it's pricey, but I am sold on the stuff really. No regrets.
My whole bod is like a baby's butt, minus the diapers and poop!

Cleo said...

We don't have the store you mentioned here in my part of Illinois, but we have a chain called Bath & Body Works. They have a similar salt scrub in a blue container that I bought for my husband-HE has the dryest hands-he makes crocodile skin look positively supple! It's called "True Blue Spa-There's the Rub" salt scrub. The difference in his hands after he uses that and some lotion is positively amazing...And he's a tatooed, hair-to-the-waist, computer geek, Harley rider so don't feel badly about succumbing to the lure of manly cosmetics. And not to be overly personal, but it also works great on feet too, if you are the sandal wearing but dry feet sort. Before bed use the scrub, then the lotion and put on a pair of white cotton socks and you'll see a difference in the morning. Drinking enough water is important of course, but the stuff rocks. WalMart does carry the St. Ives Apricot Scrub and it's okay in a pinch but I really do think this stuff is much better.

cipriano said...

Cleo, I wasn't going to say it earlier, but you've given me courage dammit... I used this stuff on my feet this very evening, and it was incred!
I feel like Hermes!
So.... thank you for the endorsement from a hairy Harley-rider, you have re-affirmed my macho-level!