Friday, May 18, 2007

Inventing Momentum

So I was almost home already.
Stopped at the red light on the corner of King Edward and St. Patrick.
The light goes green and as I move the Oldsmobile into the intersection I see this person having some sort of epileptic fit on the other side of the street.
But no. Wait!
As it turns out, it is not a grand mal seizure I am witnessing.
It’s just a guy on a skateboard.
And he’s holding one of these huge Big Gulps© or other such Gallon-O-Pop things. And from a dead stop he is now gyrating himself across the street on his skateboard.
Now, I’ve seen them put one foot down and sort of scoot themselves along a bit and then jump on and surf for a bit, but here, this guy was like…. I don’t know, INVENTING momentum or something. It was truly remarkable.
He was getting better speed for his effort than I was, pressing my lazy old boot on the accelerator!

Before I reached the other side of the street I was cranking my head back to watch this guy. My God, he was good!
But my immediate thought was something like… there has GOT to be easier ways of crossing the street!
Like, if this kid is doing the skateboarding thing because it is easier than walking, then I just don’t get it.
Because if I myself did what was going on there I’d be seeing a chiropractor for the next three months.
Or a cardiologist.
Or Jesus!

I mean seriously. I kept driving, but I was shaking my head and thinking that this is probably the kind of thing that happens when people finally get to hell.
The Devil, or whoever else is in charge of things, probably looks the new batch of inmates over and declares → “OK, from now on, when you want to get from over here to over there, you gotta use this thing!”
Then he hands you a skateboard!

But hey! The power of youth!
They know how to prepare for stuff.
On that fateful day, this kid I saw on the way home will look at The Devil and say, “Hey. Chill out, dude! I can do that while holding 4 litres of Dr. Pepper!”


1 comment:

Merisi said...

I am sure, Dante would have included a skateboard ride in his purgatory, had he foreseen such torture instrument! :-)
I must add, that I have a son, who is very athletic, and he guides his skateboard with a grace and skill, that even I as the mother am able to watch it. It must be his fifth one, at least if I count the trophy pieces he keeps on his "book shelf". And you should hear him, telling his friends "how" be broke those in two, or however many pieces. He's the Hemingway of wild skateboard stories. :-)