Friday, August 08, 2008

Trouble In Tooth 28

Is there ever a “good” time to have problems with one’s wisdom teeth?
The short answer is, “NO!”
But for me, right now… the long answer is, “For the love of God, my holidays start in a few days and they begin with my gig as MC at my niece’s wedding and I don’t want to have a face all puffed out like a raccoon and plus I have to sing and entertain the people and I don’t want to have to worry about sudden eruptions of blood from my mouth and plus I was looking forward to really chowing down on lots of good wedding-food and getting wicked drunk… and… and….”

But, in all seriousness, Murphy’s Law has really gotten me good, with the news from my dentist yesterday afternoon. The current, unbearable pain I am experiencing is due to a cavity in one of my upper wisdom teeth.
Known as Tooth 28, in technical terms!
Lately I have been going crazy with pain…. especially when trying to sleep at night. Amazingly, as soon as I lie down in bed… BOOM!
The pain flares up.
Doctor says this is "a sign of a dying tooth."
I said, "Perhaps! But it is also the cause of a very grumpy Ukrainian!"

So…… the earliest appointment I could make with a dental surgeon is TUESDAY.
And…. my flight leaves painfully early, on Thursday morning!
Needless to say, I am now preoccupied with thoughts of looking like a some kind of bruised and battered chipmunk in front of all of my relatives and friends, when I MC this wedding!
Does anyone have any experience with upper tooth extraction, followed by immediate Master of Ceremonies duties?
Please… only send comments that are ENCOURAGING and UPLIFTING!
I am already depressed enough, thank you!

I have been known to tell a certain riddle, from time to time. It is one of my favorites, and goes like this:
QUESTION: What time is it when a Chinaman needs to see the dentist?
ANSWER: Tooth-Hurty!
Guess what time my appointment is, on Tuesday?
That’s right folks.

[Quit laughing…]



Cold Molasses said...

Sorry to hear that Cip...I had all 4 of my wisdom teeth out (maybe that's why I feel so dumb these days!). I found the trick was to accidently (seriously!) take double the pain meds you are supposed to...for me, that did the trick...never felt any pain. And by the time I went back for a new prescription and they asked where my old meds were, it was past the bulk of the pain period. I don't recommend this approach, but I must say, it worked for me...and would likely make your MC duties a lot easier (and maybe funnier!).

cipriano said...

Thank you, Cold Mol.
I had one leg over the balcony-railing just now, and before flinging myself onto Bolton Street, I thought I would check just once to see if anyone had anything good to say.
[Here is how wimpy I am!]
I actually CALLED the dental-surgery place today, and talked to the receptionist there. I made her promise me I would not look like a badger that had just got run over by a garbage truck.
She told me that if it was a LOWER tooth [lower jaw] it may be a problem... but the upper tooth is not as bad of an issue.
I listened to her, intently.
Then I asked, "So let me get this clear.
Are you saying that by Thursday night I will NOT look like a wolverine and/or opossum that just got a 2 X 4 to the face?"

She hung up on me.

Isabella said...

I have no real experience in this area — I only ever had one wisdom tooth and it was removed with little event (but lots of dentist-condoned drugs).

Your situation sounds like a good reason to drink a lot.

Marg said...

I have had trouble with my wisdom teeth three times. The first was 5 weeks before I was going overseas to live (not doing anything at that point in time, when I was going to have to wait 4 weeks for the op). The second was 3 weeks before I was moving house interstate, and the third was 2 weeks before I moved into my first house that I was buying!

Needless to say, I still have all my wisdom teeth.

cipriano said...

Good point[s].
I am currently taking your latter advice, and I am cranked.
[Feeling no pain. Thank you, Mr. Molson!]

See, this is just the kind of comment I am looking for.
Notes From A Fellow Coward.
See... one thing I did not mention in my blog-posting, is that the consulting dentist I saw was NOT my regular dentist, and he [the substitute dentist] informed me of how my REAL dentist [who was on holidays at the time] had warned me three or four times to HAVE MY WISDOM TEETH REMOVED.... and I kept avoiding the inevitable.
Now..... I shall pay The Piper, as it were!

stefanie said...

Cip, it will be a piece of cake. I had all my wisdom teeth out when I was 17 because they were coming in with no room to go. They knocked me out and an hour or so later I woke up and was high as a kite for a few hours. Then I crashed, slept the rest of the day and all night, woke up the next day tired but without a problem. No swelling, no pain, only four holes in my gums which I had to wash out after eating. You'll be fine. The spot will be tender for a little while so you might want to avoid things like chips and popcorn, but otherwise, eat, drink, and be merry!

cipriano said...

Thank you, Stefanie.
Yeah, I just talked to my sister on the phone... her son had all four of his wisdoms yanked at once, and he went to work the next day.... so.
She basically told me to quit being such a wimp!

Melanie said...

I had 3 out at once and could hardly tell after one day of painkillers (of course I took more than a day off work, though...I'm not as tough as your nephew) I had no chipmunk face or bruising at all. Don't worry, you're a hardy Ukrainian!

Beth said...

Just saw someone who had all four wisdom teeth removed and he looked fine - two days afterward. Of course, he had a beard. How fast can you grow a beard?
Have a wonderful time - you'll be fine. And if you do look like a chipmunk, just think of all the laughs you'll get for simply standing there! (Sorry...)

cipriano said...

Thank you for the encouragement, Melanie and Beth.
I shall endure this trial!