Tuesday, May 05, 2009

The Bag Tax©

I'm always looking for apocalyptic signs of the end of the world.
Armageddon and stuff.
And tonight, getting groceries at my favorite Loblaws Supermarket, I was once again hit full-force with undeniable evidence of the brevity of our days here on this planet we call Home.
We are living in the End Times, my friends!
I’m referring to the fact that they are now CHARGING FOR THE PLASTIC BAGS AT THE GROCERY STORE!
As in, money!
Yes.
I know it is hard to believe.

Seems like just last week the cashier was casually saying stuff like, “Do you want that chicken in a separate bag?” or…. “Do you want me to double-bag the milk?”
Well -- BLOW THE RAM’S HORN, JACOB! Those days are gone!


Now?
She gives you that icy look right up front.
Before she even starts bleeping your items she informs you that the plastic bags are going to cost you five cents apiece if you want ‘em!
So I say, “Uh-huh. No problem.”
But on the inside I’m thinking surely this must be in the Bible somewhere and I missed it. You know what I mean?


And in those days there descended upon the land great tribulation such as had not been seen heretofore. And the merchants decreed that no one, neither Jew nor Gentile, should be exempt from the Bag Tax©.
Yea, before granted access to their victuals, all must render unto Loblaws what is Loblaws, [namely five denarius per bag] and none shall be exempt. No, not one.


Or whatever.
What’s next?
Having the girl scan my forehead in order to PAY for those bags?
[Hey, wait a minute. Now I’m really scared. That part actually IS in the Bible!]


Gone are the good old days!
********

7 comments:

rhapsodyinbooks said...

Wow, next they'll be charging a cup fee at Starbucks!

cipriano said...

BLASPHEMY!!!

Arukiyomi said...

I see you've finally caught up with Europe then!

Beth said...

Your next frustrating moment will be when you've bought the bags and then forget them at home when you go grocery shopping.
Some changes take awhile to adapt to!

Merisi said...

Oh, old bag,
get a hold of yourself and a grip on that organic cotton handsewn carry-all reuseable goody-two-shoes European-style cloth bag already! :-)))

Stefanie said...

Save the planet! Get thee some cloth bags and take them with you. The store I shop actually gives me credit if I bring my own bags.

cipriano said...

My God!
What a bevy of ecologists accost me!
Yes, I should try and locate some of those re-usable deals..... admittedly.