Thursday, May 21, 2009

Speaking My [Cat] Mind

I’ll be the first to admit it.
I’ve got a few issues of my own.
For one thing, I’m addicted to cat food.
And soft porn.
And the odd martini.
A bit of a hereditary hairball problem.

But then there’s my human.
This guy’s a real mess.
He drinks too much. He's going bald.
Eats like a pig. He snores!
He'll point at the litterbox, but I'm telling you the truth, he's the problem!
He's downright gaseous!
Hopeless in the romance department.
It’s known as Mid-Life Crisis, in the human world. Apparently it’s a source of profound frustration, at times, in that particular species grouping.
Hah!
What do they know about frustration?
I have to hold a beer with two paws!
And can-openers? Nearly impossible to get a good grip on!

As for the picture of me in an unguarded moment here?
Hey, I may be neutered, but I ain’t DEAD!

sincerely,
Jack

********

3 comments:

Beth said...

It's a wise cat that knows its own master...

Anonymous said...

Hmmm.... Who's the master here?!! Human or feline, shall we put it to a vote?
C.

Isabella said...

Hey, Jack! I totally get what you're saying about Cip. I mean, I barely know the guy, but he doesn't even answer his email (I'm sure he's gonna tell me he has some ultrasensitive spam filter). Good luck to you, cat.