This very afternoon I did not even have to move from my chair at Starbucks to prove beyond any reasonable doubt that I am probably the world's most majorest DORK!
<-- Lately I have been using an elastic band as a bookmark. [As you can see in the photo].
The novel I am currently reading [The Moonstone] can be nicely held open by the elastic on the left half of the book. Tucking each page into that elastic leaves my hands free to do other things like make a complete fool of myself.
So -- I get my coffee and sit down in this one area of Starbucks. There are four comfortable leather chairs all sort of pointing inward toward each other, with a table in the middle. I got the fourth chair, the rest are full. A guy is reading the newspaper to the left of me, and across, a husband and wife are having a chat.
I retrieve The Moonstone from my backpack and just as I settle in and flip the thing open -- SPROING goes my bookmark -- vaults through the air and hits the guy in the chest, bouncing onto the floor.
He is startled and I am already saying, "Oh my God, I'm so sorry!"
He says, "What was that?"
"My bookmark," I say.... "Oh, I'm so sorry! I can't believe that happened!"
He picks it up and hands it back to me.... and I bury myself in Wilkie Collins.
I'm still there when they leave. So that was Dork Incident #1.
Soon, some other guy sits down in the chair vacated by my previous victim and the other chair remains empty. I keep reading, minding my own business...
But after a bit, I look at my watch, and it is past 3 p.m.
As I quickly pack up my stuff, I say to this total stranger, "Wow! Some hockey fans we are, hey?"
"I'm sorry. I'm not sure what you mean!" he says.
"Well, the game. The GAME! It's already starting! And...... we're sitting here!"
By now I am walking away.
When I am in my car, driving toward home I flick on the radio to see if I can catch any live coverage of "the game".
Sure enough, they ARE talking about the Canada -- U.S.A. hockey game. It's an interview with Canadian player Jonathan Toews, who keeps mentioning how Team Canada feels they are ready for this Olympic Gold-Medal final TOMORROW!
Tomorrow! The "game" is tomorrow!
No wonder that guy looked at me like I had just fallen off the cabbage truck on the way to Dorkville!