Monday, June 07, 2010

My New... Book!

My three decades of allegiance to General Motors -- specifically the now-defunct division of Oldsmobile -- is officially over.
<-- Check out my new Owner's Manual.
That is one whopper of a tome!
It's like -- War and Peace.
Or no, Ulysses!
I tend to name my cars. My last one was Big Blue. This one, this new 2010 Mazda 3 shall be known as Grey Wolf.
So far….. mmmmmm….. I am very much enjoying The Wolf.
It handles well, seems so solid.
It smells so -- NEW!
It lives up to the catchy slogan -- Zoom! Zoom!
And a terrific side-effect has happened -- one that may help my waistline [and cardiovascular] issues.
Let me explain -- See, I'm finding that I just can't bring myself to steer Grey Wolf into the many Drive-Thru hamburger joints!
The reasons are well, plethoric:
a) When I really get into hamburger-eating, I can get downright violent. What I mean is, [how do I say this?]… it's not always a clean procedure! I don't want cow-fragments and condiment-ooze all over Grey Wolf's beautiful black interior.
b) The smell. Hamburger odor can be very….. lasting. Unfading. Fabric tends to absorb the smell of well-cooked meat. Just ask Big Blue!
c) Now that I have such an exquisite vehicle, I want to go IN the burger-joint, so that while I am hammering back some burgs, I can look out the window and SEE Grey Wolf. Umm... it's a known fact in the animal kingdom that staring at something you love while devouring prey aids in the digestive process.

HAPPY DRIVING TO ME!



6 comments:

Sam Sattler said...

Congrats on the new ride...very classy looking. I know what you mean about not wanting to spoil a new vehicle by reverting to what was normal behavior in the old one. Let's see how long you hold out. :-)

Stefanie said...

Congrats on your new zippy car! Grey Wolf sounds carnivorous though and may demand that you eat burgers in it just so that it may partake.

Cipriano said...

Hah!
You are so right Stefanie.
One thing I have already learned about this car.... it is NOT vegan!
Now -- I must go and add my comments to those of "anonymous" regarding the McEwan book, Solar.
I must convert you.
I must convert you to McEwanism....

Cipriano said...

Sam -- thank you. It is truly a great little car.
It will be interesting to see how long before Grey Wolf is idling beside a Drive-Thru speaker while I yell my order into the thing....

Merisi said...

*rofl*

The things a new woman does to a man's psyche!

Wait. You were talking about your new car?

Merisi said...

P.S.:
As my kids like to point out again and again, my attempts at humour are .... well ..... ;-)