Wednesday, June 01, 2011

I Didn't Have Time For This!

So this morning I was in a great hurry. Not only had I somewhat slept in, but only after waking did I remember I was supposed to go in early today. As I wolfed back some cereal the coffee finished brewing and I put together a lunch. It's called multi-tasking.
Into my trusty Tupperware bowl I put a big can of soup [still in the can, of course] and surrounded this with crackers. I grabbed an apple and a bag of Bar-B-Q potato chips, too. [I know, I 'm a veritable Nutrition Wasteland!]
All this went into a white plastic shopping bag. I've got style!
Coffee was brewed, I poured it in a to-go cup and was racing out the door when Jack meowed and I remembered I should clean his litter box. So I grabbed the garbage pail and scooped his cute little turd nuggets in there. This is how I ended up going out into the hallway with essentially two identical bags of….. stuff.
While waiting for the elevator I opened the garbage chute [I'm on the 14th floor] and promptly threw one of the bags in.
That's right. I threw the lunch bag in. I was sure of it.
I don't have time for this!
I picked up the other bag, got in the elevator and descended to the ground floor where I marched up to the superintendent's apartment. He is the only one that can get me into the locked room where the garbage lands! But there was a big sign on his door saying that he is not available.
I resigned myself to just buying a lunch somewhere today! But geez, I really LIKED that Tupperware bowl. You would not even believe the mileage on that thing!
I got back in the elevator and got out at the parking garage level. On the way to my car I tossed the other bag into the big public-access metal bin that is there in the recycling area. It landed inside the thing with a mighty reverberating clang.
Three steps later I realized what I had done.
I had just thrown my LUNCH into that garbage bin! There's no way that a few Jack nuggets and paper towels would have made that racket!
I don't have time for this!
I looked to the left -- looked to the right -- no one was there.
I climbed into that garbage bin, which was not at all easy, I might add -- and sure enough, when I opened that bag -- there was my now dented can of soup, a frightened apple, and some seriously injured crackers!
Getting OUT of the bin was now a concern -- this is the real part where you don't want to be caught by neighbours!
But I did it. I made it to the car, unseen. No one knows.
Except………….. you.
As I drove to work I laughed at the thought of what might have happened if I had succeeded in rousing the superintendent from his slumber. Can you imagine the look on his face [and mine] as, after letting me into the room and waiting for me to rummage around in there, I turned to him, opening the bag to reveal a wondrously rescued pile of cat sh...?



Stefanie said...

Oh Cip, thanks so much for the good and hearty laugh this morning!

Melwyk said...

You are full of adventures! Glad you didn't get arrested for dumpster diving :)

Anonymous said...

Just when I need a laugh, there you are Cippy! Thanks.
Seriously, did you not notice the difference in wieght?!!

BBB said...

You changed the litter at 7:30am! Jack has you wrapped around his little paw.

Cipriano said...

Dear Friends -- I am so glad that I can bring a chortle or two to your day, now and then.

As for your question "C", and it's a good one -- the thing that bamboozled me was that bag of potato chips in the lunch bag... it confused me because I never take potato chips ever. And I set both bags down because I also had a coffee in my hand and then I threw in the one bag. When I picked up the other one I sort of felt the top of it and the crinkly aspect of the potato chip bag fooled me into thinking that it was the bag with the cat refuse in it. True, though.... the weight of the bag did not register with me.

rhapsodyinbooks said...

Wow, SO disappointed you didn't find a dead body when you climbed in!