Sunday, April 22, 2012

Goldensocks and the Three Beers

Here is this weekend's prompt from the Trfiecta Writing Challenge:
We want you to give us a re-telling of the classic Goldilocks and the Three Bears story. You can change the setting, the characters, and whatever details you wish, but the story should still be recognizable to us. Keep the spirit of the original work, but make it your own. And for once? You have no word limit.
So here's a little something I came up with while half-hammered on the very subject matter of the story itself:

Goldensocks and The Three Beers

"Dude, you seriously need to consider doing a load of laundry."
"What?" It seemed a Herculean effort for Brian to turn his head and ask that one-word question.
"I mean, what color are your socks, even?"
Warren, slumped in an adjacent bean-bag chair offered his opinion, "They seem… you know that color when people say their eyes are 'hazel' and yet there is no such color?"
"Right, exactly," Jay continued, "Yet there is a golden sheen to them… my God. Gonna call you Goldensocks. Until you splurge for some Tide. Our own James Bond villain…"
"But without the babes," Warren threw in.
Brian flipped the remote in his right hand with the skill of an Olympic baton-twirler, suddenly launching himself from the dilapidated couch, toward the fridge.
"Yo! I may not know shit about hygiene, but there's a few things I do know."

He returned, shielding several drinking glasses and cans of beer in his arms. "Turn around, the both of you."
Warren and Jay did so, not before exchanging troubled glances.
The snap of cans opening and the sound of much pouring. Empties crumpled and tossed.
"OK. Turn toward me."
There before them were three freezer-frosted mugs of beer.
"Give it a go, you dicks. I can tell you ahead of time which beer you will choose as the best of these three."
He leaned back with his hands behind his head, hazel socks on the coffee table.
While they sipped and gulped away at all three mugs, Brian wrote a few words on a sheet of paper and held it to his chest.
Jay said, "The first one's just too skunky. Too much aftertaste."
Warren was wincing, "Agreed. And the third one's a Bud, I just know it. Too watery."
All six eyes on the middle beer, Brian broke the silence by flipping around the paper he held, which read -- The second one. Sapporo.
"Made in Japan, no less. Is that wicked or what?" he bellowed.
"Please tell me you have a few more of those in the ol' icebox?" Jay high-fived him.
"Hey, one more thing," Warren said, as Brian made his way back to the fridge…. "Umm, someone's deodorant is not working around here!"
"Can't be mine," Brian said, "I don't wear any!"


Libby Rodriguez said...

Hey Cipriano! Glad you decided to post this! Unless you place and I don't - then I am no longer glad. :). Haha!

This is really good; a completely masculine take on the story.

The three BEERS part is inspired!!

barbara said...

hahaha - as a gramma to a 20 year old "boy" with a group of like-minded friends . . . spot on with the dirty socks.

Ruby's said...

A complete new version.

Tara R. said...

Mad flashbacks to college and my hub's dorm mates.

November Rain - k~ said...

Stepping into a man's world with my bare feet :-)

Ronalee said...

As I was reading comments I saw that you had planned on writing this. I made my way down the list and you certainly didn't disappoint me. (not that you did it on my account )

Very enjoyable to read while I drank my beer.

Loved that last line "I don't wear any!"

OldDogNewTits said...

Well, of course they picked the Sapporo! :)

Beth said...

I like it. Written like a true man – one with literary talent…
On second thought, a female writer should be able to capture this male camaraderie. I happen to have lots of experience with males (my sons), beer and goldensocks! (Not my socks, theirs.)
Good luck!

Cipriano said...

Thank you for reading, and for your nice comments.
Good luck to all who have also written for the Trifecta Challenge this weekend.
And now -- for one more beer before calling it a night!
-- Cheers!

mywordwall said...

As I write my comment, I am still giggling at the last line "I don't have any."

This is a fun, masculine take on the prompt. :-)

Jester Queen said...

Duuuuude. I love the hazel socks on the table. And the deodarant not working clearly CANNOT be Brians. Because you can't fix what ain't .... existant.

Trifecta said...

Ha, I loved this. I liked the observation about hazel-colored eyes. It's true, what color is that? This is fun response to the prompt. Thanks for linking up and see you for the weekday prompt, we hope.

sim@chapter1-take1 said...

Last line about the deoderant is my fave. Break a leg!

Anonymous said...

Hazel...socks?!! Loved it! Especially the socks. You must visit my youngest son's bedroom, you simply MUST. It would inspire a sequel.