Denny's Grand-SCAM© Breakfast!

The above image is an actual [cropped] photograph of the Mastercard receipt for a meagre breakfast for two which took place in Niagara Falls on August 27th, 2002.
I guess I am still not over it.
The following vignette is an explanation as to why the line [denoting a big fat ZERO] was drawn through the “tip” portion of the receipt, that day!

My friend and I were spending a few days and nights of non-stop frivolity in Toronto. Vacationing, you might say.
Yonge Street was fun, but we had enough, and decided to spend at least one day at nearby Niagara Falls. Upon our arrival in the morning, we checked in at the hotel and then remembered that we were both starving, and so, looking out our window, we proceeded to the nearest place.
A Denny’s©, pretty much next door to our new accomodations.
We strolled in, were seated, and then had a look at the menu.
This photo that you now see here, is an actual [cropped] image of the horrific prices that accosted our hungering minds.


OK, it is probably too small to see on your screen, but that thing in the middle there is displaying a normal old “Grand Slam” breakfast for just a measly $21.99 CDN [or $14.20 U.S].
We looked at each other and both said, in unison, “What the hell?”
We looked around, at other tables… like one with an entire family at it, and I was already calculating…. “Sweet Lord, that guy is going to be shelling out a hundred bucks for breakfast!”
The prices seemed completely outrageous. In a corner of the page, there was a thing that said “Additional egg: $2.95 CDN. [$1.95 U.S.]”
What kind of chickens are laying these eggs?
How much to just buy the chicken, and eat that?
We were both staring at each other, wondering what kind of an exaggerated world we had landed in!
So we called the waitress over….

“Umm yeah! About these breakfast prices…..”
“Uh-huh?” she said.
ME: “Well, we were just wondering. Like…. we paid less than this for our hotel room just a few minutes ago…. so, what is the deal? What are we missing here?”
WAITRESS: “Sir, this menu reflects the average price of breakfast here in Niagara Falls. A lot of people find it sort of pricey, but that’s just the way things are here. You’re free to leave if you like and take a look around, but I assure you that these prices are the norm.”

So what were we to do?
Leave?
[My stomach grumbled…]
After all, we were starving to death.

We stayed.
We ate.
We paid.
To the tune of $45.96, we paid.
For two measly breakfasts, and the coffee was not even good!

Afterwards, we walked down Victoria Street, passing restaurant after restaurant, to the left and to the right, with big advertisements splayed on windows and signboards….. ads that said things like “All-Day Breakfast: $5.99” and “All-You-Can-Eat Breakfast Buffet: $7.99.”
Or one sign that said something like “No Human-Being Has Ever Been Able To Even Finish One Of Our Breakfasts, So Damn Huge Are They: $8.99 per Starving Human.”

We were LIVID!
It was highway robbery.
We’d been royally scammed!
Totally taken in. DUPED!
Furious, we returned to the Denny’s. Asked to speak to the manager. And we did. And we told him that he should be ashamed of himself. Literally LYING to unsuspecting tourists, like us.
He just shrugged it off, sort of like “Hey, Que sera sera! Have a great stay!”
This is when we grabbed a menu from the display and took a photo of it [which you see here, above].

That very evening, we went to a place two blocks from the Denny’s Robbery Emporium, and had an “All-You-Can-Eat Buffet-SUPPER” for $10.99 each!

So, all of this to say the following.
Thinking of a vacation? Perhaps planning your next honeymoon?
Listen to me, dear friend.
There is a Denny’s Restaurant, located at 5905 Victoria Avenue in Niagara Falls, Ontario.
If you go there, don’t go there!

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