Pferfectly Pforty-Nine

Today She turns a pfabulous, pferfect, pforty-nine!
A pfascinating phenomenon becomes apparent if you do the slightest research on Her. Many many websites, and even one magazine I read, will say that She is turning pfifty!
But no. Do not rush the old Girl.
She’s turning pforty-nine today. Next year, pfifty.
That’s how it works. One year at a time!
Really, it is true. Somewhere, someone [obviously possessed of the Devil] published Michelle’s birthdate as being April 29th, 1957. And the false information has spread far and wide until now there is about an equal amount of places that will tell you She is an entire half-century old.
Trust me on this one, → the year in which She came to earth was 1958.

I should know.
I was once married to her.
But I do not have time really, [today] to get into the reasons that we parted ways. Perhaps one day I will be able to speak of it, but the pain of my loss is still too….pfresh!

I could go on an on about how much I am still in love with Her.
But I won’t.
Suffice it to say, here are two scenes from her work that are especially memorable to me.
Firstly, a scene from The Pfabulous Baker Boys, which TOOK MY BREATH AWAY!
Secondly, a scene from What Lies Beneath, wherein I HELD MY BREATH!
And prayed for Her.

Michelle!
Happy Birthday to you!
Your pface is still as symmetrically pferfect as when I pfirst pfell pfor you!
We all love you Michelle Pfeiffer.
[NOTE: All comments to the contrary will be summarily deleted!]

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