Where My Mom Is

I am finally back home.
Well, back to my apartment.
I am back home, from being back home!
All of my family is out west. Far from me. But Jack, my cat, is here.
So, in a sense, home is where the cat is!
My new catsitter, Angela, did an excellent job of taking care of my boy. I can tell. Everything was ship-shape when I returned. Jack’s plaintive meows were… plaintive, but I could tell that he was treated well, in my absence.
This is the longest time, in the history of my Bloggitry, that I have been away from the Bookpuddle. I hope that I have not lost you all, my dear friends.
It was a good visit, with my mother.
An important visit.
My mother does not read my blog, so I am able to say here, that it was difficult to see how she has dwindled away, since I last saw her, at Christmas time.
Leukemia is ravaging her once capable frame. I must hold her hand as she walks.
This is new for me. Just as it is new for her, to ask me to do it.
And yet, she cooked a wonderful dinner for me, after we had gone to church, last Sunday. I had not been to church for years, but it was her one wish, that we go. So, I walked to church with her, holding her hand the entire way.
And afterwards, mom made me the best steak I have ever eaten. I am not kidding. It was wonderful. I wanted to help. But she wanted to do this for me. She chopped up onions, and I cried.
She had this steak spice, and [stupid me] while things were sizzling, I said I would sprinkle it on, and she said, “No, no, no. After it’s done. Not now.”
And she was right.
It was the best steak I have ever eaten.
And I have eaten a lot of steak, in my day.

One look at my mother, and anyone would know that even the most optimistic doctor would not have her ringing in the New Year, of 2008. But mom keeps telling her own doctor that she will see a minimum of five more.
Years.
I hope she is right on that. I love her.
Her doctors have to admit they have never seen a better attitude.
But…

But time does its thing. Life does its thing.
In some ways, I have never felt more at home, coming back here to Jack, and resuming with my normal life.
But, when I try to go to sleep, there are times when I do wonder if “home” is where my mom is.

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