My Life

← Me, in a state of Profound Awareness.
Today I had the following thought.
I thought [and this was just out of the blue, I was at work, thinking away, and I thunk…] I thought something along the lines of → “If I were to find out that I had some terminal disease, I cannot really complain about everything I have experienced up to this point in my life, especially health-wise… and especially in comparison to what other people have had to go through, health-wise, in their own life.”

Now, while I essentially believe that what I was thinking has a lot of valid sense to it… the more I thought about it, the more I wondered exactly what it is I mean when I use a term like “my life.”
What is “my life”?
In what sense is it “mine”?
Well, obviously, it is “mine” in the profound sense that whatever happens to me [especially physically] happens only to me, and not to you, or to anyone else, busy living their own life, and having thoughts in their own head wherein they are frequently using the term, “my life” in reference to their own self.

My consciousness, my sense of “self” is housed in a head… in a brain.
My brain.
As long as that brain is functioning properly, I maintain a sense of wellness, and/or not-wellness, in reference to my self.
But more and more often, as of late, I am being struck with the idea that using the term “my life” is…… well, there is something wrong with it.
Even in the sense of how we tend to think of the Afterlife© , if we believe at all in such a thing.
I think that a large part of the problem we have with understanding it [and by “it” I mean the idea that we maintain some sort of conscious existence after physical death] is that we attach too much “individuality” to the entire concept.

For instance, if I think of my own beloved father who passed away 18 days before the new Millennium… I find that the difficulties I have in imagining his continued existence [in the afterlife] involve aspects of his individuality. Things like… “Is he wearing pants?” If so…. who gave him these pants? Do they wear out? Who washes them and irons them? Or are they just sort of….. wrinkled?
He liked to drink tea after supper.
Is he [tonight] drinking tea after supper…. somewhere?

Someone who knows everything might answer, “No. We don’t wear pants, nor drink tea in the Afterlife.”
Well…. whoever answers the question[s] like this is presuming that they know an answer that they cannot possibly know. [Except by what is called “faith” which is intrinsically not transferable, hence, not applicable to another person, unless received in a similar attitude of faith].
Ultimately, the questions remain valid, and unanswerable.
As to Continued Existence after bodily death, I used to think I knew about this.
But now I know that I do not, and that no one does.

And I am currently re-interpreting those phrases we tend to use, so flippantly, "going back to God" or "going back to the Source" or some people may say "becoming one with the Universe"... as silly as all those phrases do, in fact, sound, I think there is a profound truth to them, in actuality.

The key, though, is getting away from the idea of Individuality or Personality.
As in, thinking I am going to be wearing pants there or something. Or eating endless amounts of hamburgers. Or shaving.
All of that will not be going on. Because of the inherent absurdities involved.
And even though all that I am right now will still be alive and Aware, it will not be, in any sense, "I" [me, myself] aware of that awareness. I will be BEING.... in a sense.
As though all along, [before I was ever born], there was a Stream, and then when I was born, I entered into that Stream [as did you, when you were born]. The Stream existed before me or you, and will exist after our physical expiration.
But that’s just it.
The only thing that matters [really] is ongoing Awareness.
The kind of Awareness that would remain Aware if I were to right now drop dead immediately after posting this blog.
Whatever Life is, therefore, has very little to do with my Individuality.

More and more [I know this may sound crazy]… I just want to try and oust that possessive aspect of the term, and think more along the lines of, “If I were to find out that I had some terminal disease, I cannot really complain about everything I have experienced up to this point in Life, especially health-wise… and especially in comparison to what other people have had to go through, health-wise, in Life.”
Sincerely,
Cip

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