Saturday, April 29, 2006

What is Wrong With Me?

A while ago I got one of the most thoughtful gifts ever, from my friend Hermione.
She sent me one of these micro-cassette voice recorders.
The picture to the left is not only like the thing, but it is a picture of the exact model. It’s a real beautie!
And I have wanted one for a long time. I cannot recall if I had dropped any kind of hints, or if she used her usual ESP to get me the thing. But it’s perfect.
Why would I want a voice recorder?
Well…. because I have such great and stupendous ideas all the time, and often, no place [or time] to write them down. And she knows this, Hermione does. Hence, if I carried this thing around with me at all times, I could record these flashes of inspiration, and not lose them, as I nearly always do. By the time I find a scrap of paper and a pen, my Tolstoyan turns of phrase are lost in the ether.
My Browning-like stanzas are lost…. and worse… gone!
My Harold Bloomian wisdom… where did it go?
My Richler-like witticisms are pretty much irretrievable!
As they say, “The Muse knocks but once per visit. Then vanishes.”
The voices whisper… and whispers don’t echo.
You’ve gotta catch ‘em.

I’ve got the perfect gadget here, to catch ‘em.
How many MORE great dramas would we have, if Bill Shakepseare had one of these voice-corders?

Now, here is the part where I hope Hermione is not reading….

I have not ever used the thing. What is wrong with me? This is what I need to know.
Can anyone tell me why I have not used this thing yet? It is perfect, in every way!
Am I just a lazy, good-for-nothing bum? Is that it?
Should she quit ever giving me gifts?

Jack just looked over and is shaking his cat-head.
Even he is disappointed in me.

“Message to self,” [spoken into my voice-corder]…. “umm… do not clean Jack’s litter box for three days!”

Speaking of voices in the head, [I have at least fourteen of them, constantly yipping away] check out this excellent blog on the topic.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hmmmm. Perhaps you are simply a quaint but lovely techno-phobe.

Why not talk to one of those other voices in your head(surely they could adapt to something as new and alarming as a hand-held tape recorder) and see if one of THEM would like a go at it.

The truth is, you seem to do ok right here with your handy dandy laptop, Cipriano.

Maybe this Hermione chick is merely wanting you to tape something and send it to her...something in your distinctive Canadian cadence.

Oh well. . . Looks to me as though you have blogged enough without this hand-held device to keep a chorus of fans interested for a full year.
Me included.

Happy Blogger Anniversary, Tolstoy!
One year tomorrow!!
Thanks for all the thought-provoking and often hilarious stuff. . . you lazy, good-for-nothing bum.

Rebecca H. said...

Sometimes I think I compose my best blog posts in my head away from my computer, and then they never quite come out on the screen like I wanted them to. I'm guessing I wouldn't use a recorder either, though. We'll both be stuck trying to remember those brilliant things we thought up but never wrote down, I suppose.