So last night after work I was at the Mall.I ate at my favorite place, the Bourbon Street Grill, then schmaltzed around there for a bit, had a coffee and read a bit.
Bought a button-up short-sleeved summer shirt. White with orange vertical stripes.
I know, I know… that’s not going to exactly get me on the cover of the next GQ or anything. But it made me feel cool, putting that shirt on. And by “cool” I mean… not hot.
Cold.
I looked sort of like a Creamsicle© .
Remember those things?
Creamsicles?
When I left the Mall I set out on the freeway, and while still on the on-ramp I noticed a small lump on the road, and drove over it.
Sort of like, “tha-whump-a.” [paraphrasing].
Totally committed to the freeway now… I thought about that glimpse of the lump, and the more I thought about it, the more it seemed like a wallet.
A black wallet.
“Yep. That’s exactly what a wallet would sound like, if I drove over it.”
I took the next exit.
Then backtracked around about ten blocks, through the Mall parking lot again, and this time, as I approached the freeway again, I pulled over, got out, and retrieved what was, in fact, a man’s wallet.
Full of credit cards, driver’s license, medical card, calling card, all kinds of junk.
[No cash. Rats!]
So when I got home I called the number on the calling card.
No answer.
Looked in the phone book. This guy has a second phone number, same middle initial, in fact same address as the residence one. But here he is listed as a lawyer, in bolder print.
Hmmm…
I call the man’s law office and left a message…. “Umm, I just ran over your wallet on the freeway and it looks like at least 900 other people ran over it before I did, but my phone number is……”
About an hour later I get a call, and the guy wants to come over and pick up his wallet.
No probs. Give him directions to my place.
Soon he rings me up, and I take the elevator down to meet the man and his wife. He doesn’t even shake my hand.
Grabs the wallet from me.
His hands are shaking as he rifles through the thing.
Then he looks at me and says, “There is a credit card missing.”
Oooooh.
“Maybe this wasn’t such a good thing to do,” I am now thinking to myself.
Good Samaritan, Good SHMARMARITAN!
All I want now is to get back up to my apartment.
What does this guy think?
I stole his ONE credit card and then figured I’d call him up to return the rest of them?
I say to the guy…. “Sir, I assure you. That is exactly as I found it. I touched nothing inside there except to find out your name and phone number.”
He said something like, “No, of course. Of course. OK.” Then added a mild “Thanks” and that was about it.
He hopped in his shiny red SUV and barrelled away.
I still do not know if his wallet was stolen or if it landed on the highway earlier, as his wife tried to maybe throw HIM out of the car!
It was strange.
If that was me…. if someone had returned all of those hard-to-replace items to me, voluntarily taken the time to rescue the wallet and all, I would have been much more effusive in my gratitude.
But what can I say?
I’m a real creamsicle of a guy.
And some other people… more like yellow ice-cubes on a stick.
Yellow.
If you know what I mean…
***********
8 comments:
Well, what else could you expect from a lawyer? That was a very kind thing you did Cip, and you saved that jerk a ton of time and money. And of course, we-those on the path to enlightenment, or Barnes & Noble-do good deeds because we should, because we hope someone would be as kind to us, because it's the right thing to do...not because we expect so much as an insincere, snotty thanks and thinly veiled accusation of being a thief from the likes of a lawyer (now that is REALLY the pot calling the kettle black) who doesn't deserve to be compared to the cold, orangey, creamy goodness of a Creamsicle. Kudos to you!
Thank you cleo.
Does this mean that if I am arrested, and/or served with a subpoena, you will be a character witness for me?
I had a Creamsicle last week, and it was delicious! (even tho it cost a whole dollar, plus tax).
Maybe the next time he uses a credit card he'll be reminded to send you a lovely gift basket.
What a nice thing to do Cip! And since the guy turned out to be a schmuck I'm sure you racked up double karma points.
Your creamsicle shirt sounds like fun. Be sure to post a phot of yourself wearing it sometime while enjoying a creamsicle of course :)
Thank you so much, my Creamsiclettes!
I am in a bit of a rush here, but must stop long enough to concur with all of these nice comments... you are all so completely right! It is almost mind-boggling, the accuracy of the combined perception of me.
I really AM a totally great person, and far and away, I am the overall nicest-est guy I know!
Been there, but on the other side. I was the goof that left my wallet on top of my car and drove around ottawa until it ended up on the queensway. There's one other nice guy out there that may or may not be wearing a creamsicle shirt....he ran over it on the highway at the Bank Street exit and then got off ahead and return to the busy highway, got out of his car, risking his life, to retrieve my wallet and drive it directly to my house five miles away. Sure, there was some money missing and the cards are all warped still but what could I expect. I was so greatful that I offered money which he wouldn't accept. I then offered by next born (which was being born the next day by c-section) that I would name the little guy after him...until I learned his name. Anyways it's the thought that counts. Don't give up being a good Samaritan....most of us appreciate it!
What you did was wonderful, and quite frankly I would have expected nothing less of you, because I know that you are the creme de la creme of the Good Samaritans. One might say.... a 'creme-sicle' of a Good Samaritan, as it were.
The lawyer dude? A first-class putz. Let's face it: a right royal schmuck. He'll get his. I'm a firm believer in karma.
You handled yourself well. Were it me, I might have been tempted to grab back the wallet, drive back to the freeway and toss the sucker right in front of an oncoming truck.
Hmmm.... now you're making me crave a creamsicle!
Once again, I must agree with the second batch of correspondents that are arguing for the fact that I am a great guy.
I could not agree more!
I have a dear friend that continually reminds me, "What are we here for if not to make life easier for others?"
BTW, in my line of business [brain-surgery] I run across all manner of client. I do not want to sound as if I am sort of umm... "occupationally profiling", but it is actually NOTICEABLE to me that lawyers are sort of nasty. I seriously wonder why this is?
Thank you for reading me, ye all.
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