Sunday, November 19, 2006

20% Off!

Yesterday evening, in my urban travels, I ended up at the Chapters bookstore. For those of you who know anything about me, this comes as no surprise. I practically live at Chapters, in the Starbucks area, mostly.
The picture to the left shows the actual store itself, and I sit just above the Starbucks sign, on the upper level.
I’m there all the time.
In fact, there is one specific table, and on the wall right next to it is a mailbox where I receive regular postal delivery.

So last night I got my coffee and then I was walking around, browsing the shelves.
I noticed this one display where a certain book was being featured. I cannot mention the title because I want to get it as a Chritmas gift for someone who reads this blog! But the book was there. And I began to leaf through it.
To my left, a Chapters employee was affixing the bright red 20%-off labels to a series of books on the same display.
I turned to her and said, “Now tell me. If I go and buy this book tonight, will I see it here tomorrow with a 20%-off label on it?”
She smiled and kept labelling, “No, not that I know of, sir. That particular one is not going on sale, that I know of.”
“That you know of,” I said…. “But how can I be sure?”
“Excuse me?” she said.
“Well, this happens all the time,” I continued. “I buy a few books, and then the next day or so, the same books go on sale. It is maddening.”

[I’m squinting at her now. And she is getting uneasy, probably wondering if she should refer me to the manager, or notify the circulating Security Guard… or run…]

So I grabbed her by the arm, pulled her close to me, and breathed hotly into her ear… “Promise me. Say it. SAY IT!”
Wincing, with eyes closed, head tilted to the ceiling, and a red 20%-off sticker tremulously quivering on her index finger, she whispered, “I promise you. I promise you.”
Only then did I let her go.
But I didn’t buy the book.
See, about a week ago I received an email from Chapters, informing me that on Sunday, Nov.19th, [today] everything that is regular-priced in the store is going on sale at 20% off.
So… my useless interrogation was entirely based on the fact that I love bugging Chapters girls.

NOTE: → Certain portions of the above story have been greatly exaggerated and horrendously sensationalized in the interest of better entertainment value. Like, for instance, the stuff about the mailbox.

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6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Why read the comic strips in newspapers when we have your blog!
Thanks Cip

Dark Orpheus said...

Oh c'mon! Be nice to people who work in bookstores! We meet weirdos everyday and it's scary. ;)

I once met this customer who claims to communicate with Martians through meditation. I swear, there are some weird ones out there. And they LOVE bookstores.

Be nice to the people at your favourite bookstore.

Isabella said...

For a moment I was considering mailing something to that mailbox, but I guess you'll just have to imagine having received an imaginary letter from me.

So what'd you get at 20% off?

Stefanie said...

This is good. Better than good. I'm still laughing :)

cipriano said...

Thank you anonymous. I've been sometimes described as being, "Just like Dave Barry, but on crack!"

Dark Orpheus: I regularly communicate with Martians also, through the fillings in my teeth!

Isabella: Oh, please do send a little something to my Chapters address.

Stefanie: I am glad I could bring a chortle to your day!

May said...

Girls who read this blog, see what an amiable man Cipriano is? Wouldn't you be happy to send him a BOOK?