Wednesday, April 18, 2007

Moron Shakespeare

Whoopsie daisy!
I mean… MORE, on Shakespeare.
What a difference just one little “e” can make.

OK, a bit about Shakespeare in a bit, but firster… so I am sitting at Starbucks tonight [no surprise there] and I am observing how many times a barista goes out to refresh and clean the entire Condiment Center© .
“Condiment” is the wrong word, I know, but I mean the place where the cream and sugar and honey and lids and napkins and swizzle sticks and self-aggrandizing pamphlets are located.
Whatever the hell it's called!
Yeah, that place.
Where you fix up your brew! Your elixir!
Anyway, I estimate that it is no more than every ten minutes. They are OUT THERE! Cleaning. Seriously.
Amazing.
I would like to find out if there is some actual policy on this. Like, they are VERY thorough.
On the other hand. Go to a Tim Horton’s.
Come on now, let’s be serious for three seconds.
Because I have seen them clean the coffeemaker once. I happened to be in there on the vernal equinox, which is the only time they do any cleaning whatsoever.
And the girl was scraping something out of the one coffeemaker and when she finally got it out, it looked up at her and said, “Close de door! Eet’s cold!”
Need I say more?
Starbucks is the place…. it is the PLACE, I say unto you, it is the perfect place to spend over half of your life!

OK, so I’m sitting there reading Antony & Cleopatra.
And again, I just happened across the most incredible passage, brilliantly illustrating Shakespeare’s prowess with the language that so many of us [including myself] daily mangle to shreds.

The scene is this guy Pompey’s yacht.
The three world leaders are out there partying. Getting loaded. Having a barbeque.
And so, Pompey [one of the three]… his right-hand man, by the name of Menas, comes over and tells him that now would be a great time to cut the cables and when the boat is adrift, KILL the other two.
Here’s how he says it though…

These three world-sharers, these competitors,
Are in thy vessel. Let me cut the cable;
And when we are put off, fall to their throats.
All there is thine. [Act II, Scene vii.]

Pompey doesn’t like the idea.
Or rather, doesn’t like that Menas TOLD him of the idea. He would rather that Menas had just DONE it.
See…. that way, Pompey would have never had to deal with the guilt of compliance!
So he says to Menas:

Ah, this thou shouldst have done,
And not have spoke on’t. In me ‘tis villainy,
In thee’t had been good service. Thou must know,
‘Tis not my profit that does lead mine honor;
Mine honor, it. Repent that e’er thy tongue
Hath so betrayed thine act. Being done unknown,
I should have found it afterwards well done,
But must condemn it now. Desist, and drink.

Come on now!
‘Tis that not good?

I mean, reading other books, to the neglect of Shakespeare is sort of like…. driving past a Starbucks to get to a Tim Horton’s.
No?

***********

7 comments:

Danielle said...

It is good!! I've been wondering lately what it must have been like to live in Elizabethan England. Did they all talk like this? Or is this educated talk? If so, imagine what their slang must have been like!

cipriano said...

No kidding, Danielle.
All I know is that, back then, our word "frig" was spelled, "frygge"!
The meaning was the same, though!

Isabella said...

I have got to use that quotation: "Desist, and drink."

cipriano said...

Gotta admit.
It's a dandy!

Merisi's Vienna For Beginners said...

You'd become an instant Viennese, should you ever get transferred there. They go home only to sleep (if at that).
As for Shakespeare, more power to him.

Celine said...

Strange the way language was expressed!

Cool post!

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adrienne said...

And so, plausible deniability was born.