Saturday, October 13, 2007

Where My Mom Is

I am finally back home.
Well, back to my apartment.
I am back home, from being back home!
All of my family is out west. Far from me. But Jack, my cat, is here.
So, in a sense, home is where the cat is!
My new catsitter, Angela, did an excellent job of taking care of my boy. I can tell. Everything was ship-shape when I returned. Jack’s plaintive meows were… plaintive, but I could tell that he was treated well, in my absence.
This is the longest time, in the history of my Bloggitry, that I have been away from the Bookpuddle. I hope that I have not lost you all, my dear friends.
It was a good visit, with my mother.
An important visit.
My mother does not read my blog, so I am able to say here, that it was difficult to see how she has dwindled away, since I last saw her, at Christmas time.
Leukemia is ravaging her once capable frame. I must hold her hand as she walks.
This is new for me. Just as it is new for her, to ask me to do it.
And yet, she cooked a wonderful dinner for me, after we had gone to church, last Sunday. I had not been to church for years, but it was her one wish, that we go. So, I walked to church with her, holding her hand the entire way.
And afterwards, mom made me the best steak I have ever eaten. I am not kidding. It was wonderful. I wanted to help. But she wanted to do this for me. She chopped up onions, and I cried.
She had this steak spice, and [stupid me] while things were sizzling, I said I would sprinkle it on, and she said, “No, no, no. After it’s done. Not now.”
And she was right.
It was the best steak I have ever eaten.
And I have eaten a lot of steak, in my day.

One look at my mother, and anyone would know that even the most optimistic doctor would not have her ringing in the New Year, of 2008. But mom keeps telling her own doctor that she will see a minimum of five more.
Years.
I hope she is right on that. I love her.
Her doctors have to admit they have never seen a better attitude.
But…

But time does its thing. Life does its thing.
In some ways, I have never felt more at home, coming back here to Jack, and resuming with my normal life.
But, when I try to go to sleep, there are times when I do wonder if “home” is where my mom is.
**********

10 comments:

May said...

That was a moving piece.
I hope that your mom gets to spend many more years in her home in the prairie and that she'll cook many more tasteful steaks for you.

Beth said...

Welcome back.
I believe in that expression, "Home is where the heart is." I also believe you can have more than one home because the heart is that powerful.
Your mother is an amazing woman - such spirit.
And you're a wonderful son.
Hugs to you.

(Hey, the word verification thing has the word "poet" at the end. How appropriate.)

SFP said...

Aw, Cip. This made me cry. Here's hoping your mom knows more than her doctor.

Merisi said...

Welcome back, Cip! :-)
And may your mom win!

cipriano said...

Thank you all so much for your kind comments.
-- Cip

Sam Houston said...

Welcome back, Cip. It's good to hear from you.

I know, in a way, what you are feeling. As I watch my 85-year old father slowly, but steadily, begin to fail, it breaks my heart. I remember him as the strong man who did everything for me. Our roles have almost become reversed and, although I'm happy to be there for him, it breaks my heart.

Matt said...

Welcome back. Thank you for sharing a very special patch of your life.

I firmly believe that home is where the heart resides. Where is the heart you'll always find the way home, something to look forward to and to cherish.

I'm sure the after-taste of that steak you have will always stay with you, because I can smell that it's overflowing with love that is nothing comparable to the love of a mother to a son.

Cold Molasses said...

Cip, glad you are home and had a good visit with your mom.

I'll be back in the country next weekend and hope to catch up.

Cleo said...

I'm so glad you had such a warm visit with your mom...Mothers are stubborn, amazing creatures and are indeed often smarter than everyone else is. My mom was diagnosed with Stage 4 colon cancer in November. She lost half a lung from a metastases, 22 positive lymph nodes, and a foot of her colon-she just finished 9 grueling months of chemo. They told us not to expect her to make it to her birthday in July and indeed, there were times it didn't appear she would. However, as of last month, she's in remission and very annoying in her repeated exclamations that she knows more than her doctors do-and I wouldn't have it any other way! She's not the same as she was before this, but I'll take what I can get. May your mother also prove why it's called "practicing" medicine. Welcome back. We missed you.

stefanie said...

Nice to have you back. I'm glad you got to have such a nice visit with your mom. The steak your mom made you was so good because of all the love she cooked into it. I hope she proves her doctors wrong.