Splash du Jour: Wednesday

 
Letterman's Top Ten List:
John Gotti's Top 10 Tax Tips

10. You can deduct the entire piano even if you bought it just for the wire.
9. Guys who escape from the trunk of your car may be considered business losses.
8. No matter how much he relies on your business, a funeral director does not count as a dependent.
7. Another write-off: long-distance calls to Pete Rose.
6. You must actually kill someone in your home for it to qualify as "place of business".
5. Three simple words to the auditor: "How's your family?".
4. For a vacation to count as a business trip, return with 100 pounds of heroin.
3. Smart-guy talk show hosts may end up with more medical expenses than they thought.
2. When reporting income, be plausible. No pizzeria in the world takes in 3 billion dollars a day.
1. What H&R Block can't do, Smith & Wesson can.

Have a great Wednesday!
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