Splash du Jour: Thursday

I want to get married but I look at husbands the same way I look at tattoos. I want one, but I can’t decide what I want, and I don’t want to be stuck with something I’d grow to hate and have surgically removed.
← Margaret Cho

Have a great Thursday!

Splash du Jour: Wednesday

A whale ship was my Yale College and my Harvard.
-- Herman Melville, 1851 –

Have a great Wednesday!

Splash du Jour: Tuesday

Norman began to hyperventilate when he saw the doctor.
“I’m sure I’ve got liver disease.”
“That’s ridiculous,” said the doctor. “You’d never know if you had liver disease. There’s no discomfort of any kind.”
“Exactly!” said Norman. “Those are my precise symptoms.”

Have a great Tuesday!
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Splash du Jour: Monday

I love Thanksgiving turkey... it's the only time in Los Angeles
that you see natural breasts.

-- Arnold Schwarzenegger –


Happy Thanksgiving Day, Canada!
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Wallpaper: A Saturday Poem

Wallpaper

The wallpaper saved us.
I suppose we have never argued, like tonight.
There were times when you may have had a point,
But mostly no. Or, I cut you off mid-yap.
But my God you were a grizzly with threatened cubs.
My fingers, tapping the table, were all I had.

You stormed off, as you should have.
At that moment there was not much more to growl,
And the windows were fogging up. That slamming
Of the bedroom door made me writhe in my skin
Till I faced the wall. And my proof-reading mind
Found the out of sync fleur-de-lys.

Or whatever they are called. The paisley things.
They do not match.
And I remembered not only the laughter,
But how the whole sheet fell on us as we placed it.
Back then when Love usurped the tornado warnings
And we lost our patio furniture to the vortex.

When your breath was lilac and wonder of wonders,
Mine, too. When we both thought us attractive.
When our square words fit the round holes, and I am
Walking toward that door you slammed, minutes ago.
I am going to love you tonight. Some things
Do not line up, but goddamn it, they stick!

© Ciprianowords Inc. 2008

Cyber-Progress

Hey, just a shout-out, here.
This Bookpuddle posting is number 1,560.
I have not ever paid one cent for the usage of this site.
If there is one thing I loathe, it is ingratitude.
Far be it from me, to be guilty of such a thing.
How do you do it, Blogspot?
Let’s be serious.
Is there even one area of our………. transactive life, where so much would be given to someone else, for FREE?
It doesn’t even make sense.
So. THANK YOU!
I’m glad it exists.
Because I am miserably poor.
And I like to write.
And I like the idea of other people reading what I write.
And I like the idea of not having to pay for the former, while enjoying the benefit of the latter.
How far we have come from the idea of tying messages onto the legs of certain pigeons!
I love it.
Shall use it, for as long as I can.

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Splash du Jour: Friday

In large states public education will always be mediocre, for the same reason that in large kitchens the cooking is usually bad.
-- Friedrich Nietzsche, 1878 --

Have a great Friday!

Where's My Chips?

Now that's what I call a terrific hamburger!



It makes me hungry.
Where's the nearest Nando's?
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Splash du Jour: Thursday

(A truly modern man, William Rackham is what might be called a superstitious atheist Christian; that is, he believes in a God who, while He may no longer be responsible for the sun rising, the saving of the Queen or the provision of daily bread, is still the prime suspect when anything goes wrong.)
-- From The Crimson Petal and the White, by Michel Faber –

Have a great Thursday!

No ID Required

Ahh, yes!
In my mailbox tonight was a notice from Canada Post that my new Saramago book is in. Unfortunately, I was out!
When I am not home to receive parcels from the postman [and I am NEVER… not once have I been here for such an event] the parcel goes to a place down the street, Desjardins Pharmacy, and I have to go pick it up.
The little Phillipino lady behind the counter knows me well. In the past I was required to show my photo-ID.
Nowadays, as I walk in the door she is already heading to the side-room where a new book or two will be waiting for me!
And no ID required.
I’m a regular at the Desjardins postal outlet!
So, on Saturday I will pick up this wonderful new book by my favorite living author, Jose Saramago.
It's called Death With Interruptions.
Main idea? → As of January 1st, no one dies! As in, people quit dying.
Whatever this guy uses for topping on his Corn Flakes..... I need to get me some!
I can't wait to read this new novel.
In the meantime, however, I have launched out into the deep prostitute-infested waters of a gargantuan-sized book --
The Crimson Petal and the White, by Michel Faber.
An 896-page brick!
Oh, it is sooooooo good!
I am at page 163 and truly enjoying yet another author destined to become a favorite in my Mile-Long List.

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Splash du Jour: Wednesday

Moses trudges down from Mt. Sinai, tablets in hand, and announces to the assembled multitudes: “I’ve got good news and I’ve got bad news. The good news is I got Him down to ten. The bad news is ‘adultery’ is still in.”

Have a great Wednesday!

Splash du Jour: Tuesday

At a meeting of the college faculty, an angel suddenly appears and tells the head of the philosophy department, “I will grant you whichever of three blessings you choose: Wisdom, Beauty --- or ten million dollars.”
Immediately the professor chooses Wisdom.
There is a flash of lightning, and the professor appears transformed, but he just sits there, staring down at the table.
One of his colleagues whispers, “Say something.”
The professor says, “I should have taken the money.”

Have a great Tuesday!

The Great Debate

Hi, all!
In case any of you dear folks missed The Great Debate a few nights ago [and no, I do NOT mean the Canadian one!] here it is, in all of it's Bidenous Palinosity.



Ain't she a doozy of a maverick?

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Splash du Jour: Monday

A ninety-year old man went to the doctor and said, “Doctor, my eighteen-year old wife is expecting a baby.”
The doctor said, “Let me tell you a story. A man went hunting, but instead of a gun, he picked up an umbrella by mistake. When a bear suddenly charged at the man, he picked up the umbrella, shot the bear, and killed it.”
The man said, “Impossible. Someone else must have shot that bear.”
The doctor said, “My point exactly.”

Have a great Monday!

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The Up-Arrow: A Saturday Poem

The Up-Arrow

It was the click of your heels on the
marble
foyer
floor
and the whole open-concept ocean breeze
wafting through that first
threw me off my mark and
then I pressed that button that lit up.

I spread wide the curtains to the night.
Open
the balcony
door
you said, and we watched a cruise-ship dock
while laughter floated up from
our very chairs below, still warm.

Turning, I realized one should be at least
alive
or
dead
because in the few seconds it took you to
throw your blouse on that chair, I knew my
ghost was not going to survive.

Later, in your arms, I turned your face to mine
and
just
then
felt for the first time in my life that from the clicking
to the pressing and the spreading and the
dying, that all of this –
All of it, was why I first breathed.

© Ciprianowords Inc. 2008

I Don't Speak Catonese!

← My cat, shown here in one of his drunken stupors… my cat Jack is driving me mental.
He meows too much in the mornings.
Let’s be serious now. It’s bad enough that I have to wake up so damn early for work every day, but to be wakened [wokened? How does one say it, exactly?...] to be MEOWED awake before the alarm goes off – No.
This is unacceptable.
And it seems to be getting worse. It’s like he is trying to SAY something.
And I don’t speak Catonese!
I get out of bed all bleary-eyed and go to the kitchen to see if his food dish or water dish is depleted. Nope. There’s stuff in each.
He just looks up at me and MEOWS plaintively.
Is this normal feline behavior?
Is there anyone out there that can translate for me?
Usual mornings go something like this… “Meow! Meowwww!”
[Pause].
“Meooooooowwww!”
[Now I’m awake as hell…]
“Meow-meow, meow! MEOWWWW! Meow! Meowl. Meowmeowmeowwwwwww! Meow.”
Is he just hung-over from the night before? Is that it?
He wants some tomato juice? Another beer? WHAT!!!

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Splash du Jour: Friday

I am an old scholar, better-looking now than when I was young. That’s what sitting on your ass does to your face.
-- Leonard Cohen, 1970 --

Have a great Friday!

On Borrowing

I happened across a really neat little thing by author Henry Miller (Tropic of Cancer, Tropic of Capricorn, Plexus, and many other books).... and it made me do some soul-searching.
"One of the first things I associate with the reading of books is the struggle I waged to obtain them. Not to own them, mind you, but to lay hands on them... What makes a book live? A book lives through the passionate recommendation of one reader to another. Nothing can throttle this basic impulse in the human being. Despite the views of cynics and misanthropes, it is my belief that men will always strive to share their deepest experiences. Books are one of the few things men cherish deeply. And the better the man the more easily will he part with his most cherished possessions. A book lying idle on a shelf is wasted ammunition. Like money, books must be kept in constant circulation. Lend and borrow to the maximum--of both books and money! But especially books, for books represent infinitely more than money. A book is not only a friend, it makes friends for you. When you have possessed a book with mind and spirit, you are enriched. But when you pass it on you are enriched threefold."
-- Henry Miller –

At the top of this blog is a picture of one wall of my apartment.
It is only one wall, I do have others, and they too have books against them.
I am viciously possessive of this one feature of my life.
Books.
My life has been filled with books, since my elementary school years. My books have always been the most meaningful part of my possessions.
Over the years I have amassed quite a quantity of treasured books, and I only keep the best ones. Those that I read and that do not mean all that much to me, I leave them in the laundry room downstairs for others to pick up, or I donate them to a used book sale or a church library or some such thing. [I never throw them away, of course.]
There have been times when I have filled the trunk of my car with boxes and boxes of books, and given them away. In the past few years, I can recall giving away (no exaggeration), perhaps 20 fairly large boxes of books that I no longer wanted.
But the ones that become a part of my inner world?
No, those stay with me.
And I find it difficult to lend them out.
This excerpt from Henry Miller makes me realize that I am quite finicky about lending my books. I see the logic involved in circulating them, but I just do not trust that when I let the book out of my hands, it will ever return to me. With most of my books, I have a very palpable “till death do us part” vow attached.
The quote by Miller causes me to do some soul-searching, as I mentioned above.
But if the end result of soul-searching inevitably results in any sort of change of heart, or change of mind..... then I have not found my soul tonight.
Because I have thought about it a great deal, and dang it all if the end result is that I still do not want to lend anyone any of my treasures.

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Splash du Jour: Thursday

The important thing is not so much that every child should be
taught as that every child should be given the wish to learn.
-- John Lubbock, 1887 --

Have a great Thursday!
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Splash du Jour: Wednesday

I would rather entertain and hope that people learned something than educate people and hope they were entertained.
-- Walt Disney –

Have a great Wednesday!