Sunday, April 19, 2009

Signs of Dementia

Late last night I stopped for gas at a Shell station.
Inside, I handed the guy my credit card, and as he was processing it, I grabbed the little ticket showing the latest Lottery numbers.
Walking back to my car in the light of the blazing overhead flourescence, I compared these numbers against my own ticket I had tucked away in my wallet.
Be damned if not even one number matched the winners, and just as I was saying "_ _ _ _” – “_ _ _ _"- and “dammitall” I noticed that these numbers were for a previous draw, my ticket is for the NEXT drawing..... and I honestly breathed a sigh of relief as I crumpled up the previous winners and tossed them in the garbage bin as I got to my car.
Tucking my own ticket back into my wallet, I revived myself by thinking.... "I've still got a chance!"
My retirement plan is still securely in place!

For other Lottery-related severely delusional blogs I have written, click HERE and HERE.
And for a Nobel-Prize nominated poem of the same genre click HERE.



Beth said...

True dementia/senility would be if you’d crumpled up and tossed your still-possibly-a-winner ticket in your fury at thinking you’d bought a loser.
There’s still hope - both for you and the ticket.

Anonymous said...

I think you should just find yourself some rich (good-looking, smart, literate, malleable) woman.
What is the likelihood....? Talking odds here.