Saturday, April 26, 2014

Robert Plant Climbing: A Saturday Snapshot

Beyond the occasional half-forgotten act of "the pouring of some water in there"… I know absolutely nothing about horticulture. My percentage of Plant Knowledge would be somewhere into the negative integers, is what I am saying! 
And yet I have somehow managed to be the owner of a plant that refuses to die. 
His name is Robert Plant.
And no matter the magnitude of ignorance I level at this thing, it continues to thrive -- for years now. 

I bought this little inches-high plant at a grocery store, like about five years ago -- and the thing continues to not only "live" but it seems to thrive.
And climb up the wall.
You can't see the current outcropping in this picture, but Robert Plant, after climbing up to the ceiling somehow, is now trailing off and making his way across the top of my fridge. 

If he ever makes it to the inside of the thing, I am definitely going to gently suggest that he should start helping out with the grocery bill. This plant is crazy. 
It refuses to die, even though my cat Kennedy, [see him in the background, waiting?] regularly eats any of the leaves that droop low enough for him to reach up and gobble them.
The process is called "selective pruning" and/or -- "survival of the fattest"!
I've only changed the soil once, years ago. I am a terrible father to this plant, and yet… it lives.  

I would not at all be surprised if one day I arrive home unexpectedly early from work to the sound of clinking beer bottles, overflowing ashtrays everywhere -- and girl-plants running out the door wrapped in towels! My towels! A naked Robert jumping  back into place against the wall whistling the opening to Stairway To Heaven with a guilty look on his leaves. 
Kennedy will be laid back on the couch yonder, with dilated pupils. 
Dazed and confused, stoned out of his cat mind on second-hand [or maybe even first-paw] smoke.
Many thanks to West Metro Mommy Reads for hosting this Saturday Snapshot meme.


Jackie McGuinness said...

Robert Plant, love it!!!

Louise said...

Robert Plant is genius. I can't quite believe Kennedy likes to eat it!

Sandra Nachlinger said...

GREAT photo and accompanying bio of Robert Plant (love that name!) Since I have a black thumb myself, this looks like the plant for me.

Laurel-Rain Snow said...

Ha-ha! Love your story about Robert Plant, and your imaginings of what lies ahead.

I am terrible with plants, too, but on my patio is a "tree" that just sprang from a weed and persists, year after year. I am amazed.

Thanks for sharing, and here's MY SATURDAY SNAPSHOT POST

Anne@HeadFullofBooks said...

Robert Plant. Good one.

grammajudyb said...

Robert must love his little corner of the world! Those pothos or philos (can not exactly tell which) seem to thrive on neglect. Good for you!

Book of Secrets said...

Haha, I love that its name is Robert Plant. I had a desktop ficus tree that thrived on neglect. It eventually got to big for my house, and I sent it to my mom. If only I lived in a mild climate so I could have planted it outside!

Here’s my SNAPSHOT.

Andrew Hidas said...

Robert looks awfully skinny, which may be why he's thriving as he is. Gerontologists tell us calorie restriction is the only proven means of extending the lifespan, so I recommend taking really great care of him, stuffing him with nutrients galore—and then watching him topple...Good luck!

Susan Lindquist said...

LOL! So clever! This is such a fun post and you certainly have a knack for naming plants and pets!

Stefanie said...

You haven't mentioned Robert Plant in a while, he's looking great! Neglect seems to be working out pretty well :)

Anonymous said...

Too funny! Count your towels and make sure none go missing...
What would Kennedy be humming in guilty embarrassment if you caught him with a bunch of girl-cats, I wonder?